Imagine a bustling, thriving marketplace where horse-drawn motor cars are the pinnacle of motoring excellence. Every conversation, every promotion, every sales pitch revolves around these magnificent vehicles—glossy advertisements showcasing how effortlessly they glide with a team of well-groomed horses. Experts, revered in this world of horsepower (quite literally), extolling the virtues of selecting the finest steeds and ensuring their hooves are properly maintained.
In this world, the concept of a motor car is widely understood, yet paradoxically, horses are still seen as essential to its function. There’s an engine under the hood, sure, but why start it when you’ve got horses to pull you along, right? The general public has no idea that the engine even exists, or if they do, they’ve been convinced that starting it might cause irreparable harm—frightening the horses, disrupting the tranquil order of things, maybe even leading to catastrophic pollution.
Now, let’s pivot to a familiar scene on LinkedIn—Alan Murray, a well-known Excel expert, posts yet another article on the magic of Excel tables. He extols their virtues over traditional ranges, touting how they’re more powerful, flexible, and dynamic. Thousands of people engage with the post, nodding along, applauding the wisdom of the upgrade. It’s a message that always sells well because, of course, Excel tables are an upgrade from plain old ranges. It’s common sense, right? Like a motor car with horses—that’s an obvious improvement over a cart without.
But wait. What about those who are already familiar with proper tables, the kind you find in databases? What about people who understand bi-directional data flow, have 70 spreadsheets (or 70,000) interacting seamlessly, and are aware of the powerful capabilities Excel already offers without needing the extra fluff? For them, the conversation about tables becomes a bit perplexing. It’s as if they’ve been driving around with a perfectly good engine under the hood, only to be sold the idea that horses are now a breakthrough innovation. And you wonder, “Why are we still talking about horses?”
Here’s where the analogy gets fun.
Imagine, if you will, a car manufacturer like BMW trying to break into this world of horse-drawn motor cars, shaking their heads in disbelief as they try to explain to the public that horses are not needed at all. The engine under the hood can do all the work. You don’t need to feed it hay, you don’t need to clean up after it, and it won’t drop dead on a long journey.
“But horses!” the masses cry. “We’ve always had horses! And sure, the car has an engine, but isn’t it dangerous to use it? What about the pollution? What about the risk of crashing at those kinds of speeds? And who will care for the horses?”
BMW presses on. “The engine is the point of the car. It’s more efficient, faster, and reliable than horses. You can get from point A to point B without any of the extra hassle.”
Yet, the horse-drawn motor car industry rallies. “The horses are tradition! They add charm. And besides, not everyone needs to go that fast. Also, have you considered that the engine might not last forever? What about fossil fuels? Horses are sustainable!”
And so, a massive industry grows—not around the actual use of motor cars as motor cars, but around maintaining, feeding, and celebrating the horses. There are blacksmiths, hay suppliers, and saddle-makers, all benefiting from the fact that no one seems to realize—or care—that the engine under the hood renders the horses entirely obsolete.
This brings us back to Excel tables. Isn’t all the hype around them, like the horses, selling to people who didn’t know tables existed in the first place? For those who already understand the power of centralized, data-driven systems, who’ve harnessed the capabilities of Excel and beyond, what’s being sold as an upgrade feels, well, a bit like selling horses to someone who owns a perfectly good car engine.
The horse-drawn motor car, as a concept, thrives on ignorance—not in a malicious way, but in the simple fact that people just don’t know any better. They don’t know that starting the engine would eliminate the need for horses entirely. Similarly, Excel tables, as promoted today, are often aimed at people who don’t know there are far more powerful ways to handle data than simply upgrading from ranges to tables. Once you know about relational databases, bi-directional data flow, and the potential for real-time synergy between multiple systems, the conversation about tables starts to feel… quaint.
So, what happens when people figure it out? What happens when the customers find out that the horses were never needed, that the engine was there all along? What happens when they realize they’ve been sold saddles and reins when they could have been driving at full speed?
That’s the satirical paradox we live in—whether it’s Excel tables or horse-drawn motor cars, industries thrive on selling solutions to problems people didn’t know they didn’t have. But what happens when they do know?
Now that’s an engine worth starting.
This is a podcast by Hiran de Silva. Narrated by Charlie.
Add comment